Anything But Ordinary

It's Funny....

2010-09-28T21:02:00.001-07:00

No matter how many times I tell myself I am going to keep an updated blog...it never seems to catch on....I actually cannot believe I am sitting here writing in it as I speak...

It seems like it has been forever since I have posted....and it has been. My life has taken so many different turns and directions since I have written in it that I don't even know where to begin....it's almost as if I just wanna pick up where I am right now and screw the explaining....but I guess I should.

....and I don't wanna....SO

Summer is gone, and as I sit here in Andrew's hoodie, and a pair of shorts I wonder where the time has gone......I do love fall though. My philosophy....you can only take so much off, but you can always put more on. So I would rather be in cold weather than hot weather...

I cannot WAIT to start my Labor and Delivery job in just 2 weeks! *GASP!* I can't believe I got my dream job on my first and only nursing interview!!! So fantastic!

Turns out that L&D is my passion....but apparently this unit has it all! They do their own c-sections, have their own triage, and apparently the nurses do most of the baby delivering....well....I am PERFECTLY FINE with that! :D

I must say I'm happy with the way things have turned out...I don't think I could be happier...well....I could be if I was with my babe :) but hopefully *crosses fingers* just a couple of more weeks!!! Pleaseeeee Military!!! I wanna see my man!!!!

Enough!

2010-03-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

I am RIDICULOUSLY fed up with studying and making endless flash cards! I demand it to be spring break RIGHT NOW!>_<

Times...a thousand.

Have a quiz tomorrow which explains the frustration behind the flash cards. I think I made 100 for the quiz tomorrow....I hope they work their magic thats for sure :/

Have the pups still. They are ridiculous. But it's nice that they all have each other to play with. They go home on Wednesday and I know Rhino and Hailey are gonna miss them like CRAZY!

Took them all swimming yesterday btw. Talk about HILARIOUS! Sushi looked like she was trying to swat flys! Hailey had no fear and just jumped in like a super beast! She was trying to land on sushi, but it was still nice to see them having so much fun in a new place :)

Made amazing dinner tonight too. I am so proud of myself that I need to brag about it. Turkey meatballs and spaghetti :) MMmmMMmmm :) Gotta lose me some mega pounds this month!

My uncle said we could use the house in NC, so I am really stoked about that as well. Free place to stay and enjoy the beach! Talk about nice :)

Song that is on right now.

Joose

2010-03-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

Okay,so needless to say, last night, I got a little drunk. It was a long time coming and I really think I deserved the break even though I have spring break in a couple of weeks. I am going to bust ass this afternoon though on making flashcards after our adventure to the dog park. Man that is going to be challenging.

O yes. The dogs arrived yesterday. And thankfully, I got in a workout this morning and everyone is sleeping :) Poor Toby hasn't left the bedroom since yesterday.....I am guessing I should get him to eat something.

Hopefully this quiz on Tuesday will not stress me out as much as the others. I'm hoping for smooth sailing the rest of the semester.

Amazing song that came on while writing my blog :)

I mean come on, who doesn't like The Red?

Fences

2010-03-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

Picked up Toby from the vet today. He was so stoked to see me it wasn't funny. But the poor thing is so drained :( I feel horrible. But, the doc said give him a couple of days and he would be as good as new. Well....let's hope he is right.

Had a pretty awesome day today. House got cleaned, went to the dog park with my girl Rach and her pup Paddie, and then came home and worked out and had subwayyy. So glad I didn't have to cook....but I guess I got it like that :)

I shall officially be dog sitting this weekend. So, I will have a total of 4 dogs, 1 cat, 1 bird, and a dozen fish in the house. I think I got this..... : /

Fences comes from the paramore song I was listening to on my iPod when I started writing this song. Ill post a link

Oh and I also love this guy on youtube...check him out.

Turkey Vulture

2010-03-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

Ok, so. On the way home from taking Toby to the vet this morning, a vulture flew out of the ditch and almost slammed into my windshield. Lucky for him I am a skilled driver and I was smart enough to slam on the brakes giving him enough time to escape over the top of my car....barely.

Had a wonderful workout, got the nerve to post new pics of myself. And I must say, I am very pleased with the feedback :)

Took the pups over to the c-man's house tonight. Hailey got into the door and not 2 second later was squatting on the carpet in the kitchen right in front of me.....oh my LORD I enraged. Needless to say, c-man's carpet had to endure the wrath of Hailey and her massive poo. She had nothing left.

Home again, dreading all of the lecture I have to listen to, BUT I get to go to the dog park tommorrow! YAY! Pretty much stoked. Maybe I will actually take pictures :)

Starbucks? Yes please :)

2010-03-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

Had class this morning...seemed like a waste of time. I guess it would have helped if I covered some of the material beforehand...then again I guess not since we didn't discuss any of it :)

Some people are still pretty sore about the test...I prefer not to talk about it. I'm not the type of person who runs and tells my good news to people who don't wanna hear it, so...I just prefer to not talk about it. Oh, and no pitty talk will come from me...you can count on that.

Had a meeting with people from HCA hospitals today. That was pretty sweet....talked about getting jobs and progressing and actually being a nurse. WoW. Scary...

Got a free starbucks gift card out of the deal, so hey, I'm happy :)

Seriously heard a song on the radio today that I am officially in love with and I am going to learn to play on the guitar this week. Take a listen:

Lord...

2010-03-01T18:20:00.001-08:00

It's been.....a while to say the least

Had a test today. It was very important and determined whether or not I was going to move on and finish the rest of my semester...would have affected a lot in my life.

Starting a new approach to the healthy lifestyle tomorrow...maybe this time it will actually work.

I didn't do anything for class tomorrow. Still pretty burned out from the major learnage that I did this past week/weekend between clinical and all the studying. So, I took a mental health day. No school, no gym, just sat on my ass :)

Still amazed beyond belief that I will be a nurse in a few short months....cannot wait to start my life. :)

Really love her

Check it out.

She lives in a fairytail

2009-10-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

These past couple of months have been a blur. I finished Pediatrics with a solid C almost a B. I have 2 more weeks left in Psych with a solid B that I am very proud of and then I move onto maternal newborn. I have to say 100% that pediatrics and Psych are not my number one choice to pursue a career in for nursing. Pediatrics is just...I dunno. Maybe it was the professor and the way she taught the material, but I just did not care for it. It also did not help that the hospital I worked in had every single child hooked up to a ventilator and a feeding tube. Depressing much?

Psych has really good learning material but....honestly....when I have to go talk to patients and interact I am really afraid for myself. I do not feel safe. Especially around those that are unstable. Being on a unit with people that are depressed and ODing on medications and hearing voices is not where I want to spend my time. But sit me in a desk and teach me about it all day long!

Maternal/Newborn should be fun because I get to work in Post-Partum and the Nursery. I am pretty stoked that I am going to be able to play with little newborns and listen to their little hearts and their first breaths *swoon* :)

I am a Med Surg nurse all the way. Throw me in a situation with open surgical incisions, or Trauma. ER is where I really wanna be and only 7 more months until I get there! THANK THE LORD!

I turn 21 in a couple weeks and I am pretty stoked about it. October is a great month because my B-day is closely followed by Halloween which is pretty nice considering my favorite holiday ever is Halloween. I set up a table on the front lawn and I made a body and covered it with a sheet and chained it down. And on Halloween Ima take the body off the table and Jon is going to be Frankenstein and I will be the Bride of Frankenstein. It looks pretty badass if I say so myself. Especially with my creepy skeleton surgeon on the front porch and my graveyard in the front :)

Also for my b-day I get to go see Paramore! NEXT SATURDAY!!! ^_^ Man I am SOOO stoked! I already know their new cd by heart. It's really good and I can't wait to hear this stuff played loud. I mean sure, it's in the NORVA and it's a sold out show and I am going to be covered in like 50 other peoples sweat and spit but it is going to be completely worth it and I can't wait.

No class for me tommorrow, just cleaning and takin the man to the Eye doctor. Didn't get to take the pups to the dog park this week because of the shit weather. It has been SO freakin cold and rainy :/ Not very good dog park weather. The temps just went into the shitter so quick this year. Bring on some daylight savings time is all I have to say!

One thing that I do like about Fall is House comes back, Grey's comes back, Desperate Housewives is back, AND Nip Tuck is back :) Makes the nights go by faster when I'm not doing paperwork or studying like a madman for a test. DVR is my best friend.

"Be great in action, as you have been in thought."
-William Shakespeare

Gosh, I should write more often.

2009-09-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

Started school back in August, and I am glad I am getting the hardest part of the semester over first, because this is plum ridiculous. The woman crammed 3 projects, 3 tests, clinical paperwork, and a final all into 5 weeks. The tests cover 12 modules, 4 of which she didn't even teach us. Yeah, you heard me right, she did NOT teach us....well maybe half of a module. But the things she needed to teach us about, I had no clue. It's one thing to know the components of Tetralogy of Fallot (big word, look it up) but to actually know what the components do is another story. If I wanted to take an online course, I would have gone through the Commonwealth Nursing program instead of wasting my time sitting in a classroom with this loon >_<

Jon fell back into his WoW obsession and drug me with him. He power leveled my Preist so that way I could raid with him and the guild, but alas, look at me, Im sitting here and not raiding while he is.....oh well what can I do really right?

I should actually be writing the paper due on wednesday. I skipped band just so I could get started on it....hah....a lot of good that did. I ate dinner and then watched a movie I have probably already seen maybe 4 times...real classy. But gimme a break I guess, I had dinner guests :)

Speaking of dinner. I pretty much always know what I am going to be cooking especially since I have laid out a meal plan. Its really nice actually. But even though I have laid out a plan for meals, it has not been easy on my diet thats for sure. Especially since I am a bangin chef. I really need to get my workout going....I probably say that every blog. But I mean, I don't wanna be a controdictory nurse and be huge preaching to overweight patients about how they should lose weight to control their diabetes, and cholesterol. Because then, it would make me look like a hippocrit no doubt.

ANYWAy, Paramore just came on the player, and I am freakin stoked to go seem them next month for my birthday especially since it sold out last week ^_^ and I get to go!!!! :)

Ugh, 10:19 and I am pooped. I feel like an old lady.....

This photograph is proof

2009-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ya know, sometimes when I watch the dog whisperer, I just sit here in awe. I mean, how in the hell is Ceasar Romano getting the freakin psycho dogs to do is bidding when I cannot even get my dog to hold his piss on the way to the door in the morning. Oh well, Ill learn eventually the secret to dog whispering, I hope.

Training with Rhino is going as good as can be expected especially since I was away from him for a whole week. My rents didn't manage to corupt him as badly as I had thought. Even though I do think that not crating him the whole week we were gone was not the best choice cause now he cannot hold his pee for beans! Silly dog....such a cutie and I love him. I taught him how to play fetch this morning, and when I was trying to teach him sit and stay....he had to super pee I guess and went on the rug. I wasn't too happy to say the least. But, one day at a time.

Im on my last load of laundry and I went to lunch with my honey today, it was nice. I really like seeing him during the day. I just with that things for him at work weren't so meh.....

I handed out more Avon shit today, I think Im going to plan on having a booth at the annual neighborhood yardsale and see how far that it can get me. I mean, it won't hurt right? Maybe I could have like a raffle and raffle off some skin-care items and gain new clients and make some sales :) I really have high hopes huh? lol

Jon's birthday is coming up too, and Im stuck on whether he wants a party or not. He hasnt flat out said yes, and he hasnt flat out said no. So, Im just trying to feel him out and convince him to go all the way through with it, cause I know he would enjoy it and having different faces around for once instead of the same ol same ol. But hey, cake with a couple of peeps is fine by me too, whatever he wants I want. The big 26! And the big 21 for me this year! Can't freakin waittt!!!!! ^_^

Can we say Sore?

2009-07-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

I did a workout like.....2 days ago and I am STILL sore from it. I guess I might have hit it a LITTLE too hard after coming back from vacation. I even think it impacted my immune system because I have a sore throat and a stuffed nose now! Today sounds like a Yoga day :)

Feeling a little better about Avon. Turns out that the woman did not order 10 packs of brochures for me, but instead only ordered 10.....I can handle 10 :) I have to go hand out 50 in the neighborhood today. Its not that bad since our neighborhood is so close together and everyone has a mailbox and a long driveway and no one is home during this time in the day. So it's always a quick hit and run, even though last time I handed out brochures, I did not get a response from anyone.....what a bummer :/ but Im just going to keep pushing foreward.

I get to have lunch with my honey today, so that will be nice, a good change of pace I think. The only reason I get to though is due to the fact that I have to go get my CPR cert. today. It only takes 15-20 mins because I already did the test and main shit online, I do need to review that before I head down there. Im sure Ill pass with flying colors, it always changes a little bit every year though and this is a different class than what I took the first time, but I have to get used to it.

I really tackled the lawn yesterday, I still have some stuff I need to finish. I also need to keep Rhino away from my bushes because it just so happens that he loves to eat them. I caught him doing it today though and I gave him a good smack for it, so hopefully he gets the picture. The house breaking is getting better as well. No accidents yesterday (that I found) and no accidents today so far *knock on wood*. I just feel bad sometimes that he doesn't have a friend to play with :(

I ran into Martha yesterday in Walmart. Turns out she is in the same section as me for classes this semester, so at least Ill have someone I know. Im kind of excited about going back, but at the same time I feel SO unprepped. I wish one of the instructors would send an e-mail, or something useful. I hate knowing everything last minute. I still need to go buy books and what not, Im just waiting for my mother to finish her taxes (stupidest rule ever!) But she has been in the dr.'s office on tuesday and wednesday all day and they were trying to figure out what the hell is going on with her. Freakin doctors..... "There is so much wrong I don't know where to start." That deserves a stupid smack. I would dive right in, especially since my Mom is in so much pain, as well as my Dad. I worry about them both all the freakin time.

Man the minutes just keep tickin away. Time to start some laundry.

A fly in my coffee is the LEAST of my worries

2009-07-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

Besides the fact that I did find a fly in my coffee, mind you at the bottom of the cup, after I had consumed all the coffee. So, that was my gross out for the day. Maybe I should have snapped a pic.

Gotta love when one of the first things you do with your morning is catch your puppy eating the carpet in your room. That was a pretty pretty suprise this morning. I fixed it and you can't really tell (thank god) but, I need to figure out how to make progress with this mut. I start puppy classes on saturday, so hopefully they can help me straighten him out. He is coming along with the house breaking thing. It kinda set us back some when I left him with my parents for a week due to he was never crated, so, he went from going to the door and whining, to just hiding and peeing. So, thats no good and I have had to start from scratch.

Why is getting a new puppy so bittersweet? I def cannot wait to get all of the potty training done, and to get to the point where we don't have to eagle eye him in the house and we can leave him alone during the day sometimes especially when it is raining so we don't have to feel so guilty about crating him, I mean he gets walked everyday. so thats not it. And he is whining as we speak to be able to go back into the room where the carpet that he destroyed is. What a brat.

I prolly need to get my lazy ass up and take him for a walk, and I need to cut the grass today anyway.

Oh btw, the Avon Woman put me in such a foul mood yesterday that it is unreal.....Im so frustrated with how Avon works, Im thinking I should have just never gotten involved. What a load of shit. I hope Avon enjoyed the $10 they got from me for free basically.....stupid...stupid.....$&*@#$_#&@#*!!!!!!

Tuesday Morning

2009-07-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had a very productive morning. Cleaned up the kitchen, made Koolaid and tea, and now Im enjoying my coffee and watching my morning shows :) Man, I sould like an old fart and Im only 20!

Anyway, today I have to go get my TB test for school. And I have to get a copy of my shot record. My mom is going to have the taxes done by friday so that I can fill out my FASFA for school and get my loan approved. Speaking of which.....I need to find my freakin FASFA pin.....it has to be upstairs somewhere in all of my crap. Oh well, Ill just e-mail and get a new one.

I hate the fact that I have to use my parents financial info to determine whether or not I get loans. I mean, I live away from home, in a different city, and they in no way contribute....well, not all the time. If I need money ever, my Mom helps me out, so I guess Im lucky in that sense. I love my parents :)

I get my CPR cert this thursday as well. I completed the class before I left for Texas, so I think I am going to need a refresher. I might go review the videos that came with the class. It would look pretty dumb of me to go down to VCU for this cert and then I hella fail. I gotta be able to save people's lives!

Got lots of new pics that I need to put up in the house. The upstairs is SOOO PLAIN right now! I need to get some things on the walls. But I am pretty picky about wall art and little knick knacks. Not to mention I am a natze about money. But Jon says I need to learn how to let loose a bit. But, I can't help it. I would rather be a pain and have some money than be a super brat and have none.

Speaking of spending money, I got the Sookie Stackhouse books last night. I got them really cheap actually, the cheapest I found online. $33 bucks. Not a bad deal. And it turns out there are 10 books instead of 7, but I got the box set and Jon just said you can buy the last 3 seperate. I love my honey :)

Man this Coffee has done a number on me. Gotta get goin, Rhino needs a bath :)

Texas!

2009-07-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while, so I am going to blog about Texas first and then blog more tommorrow. We went to Corpus for a week for a mini family reunion. I say Mini because it was just the Weitzel clan getting together at a restaurant, eating, and then going to Aunt Woody's house and hangin out and catchin up. But, I got a great tan and I got to see people that I will probably never get to see again. It also gave Jon and I a major point to get our wedding date set. We are content with september, just need to finalize a date so I can get out them save the date cards!!

So anyway, Texas was super hot, and there was zip to do. I was happy that I got to see Ruben, Sylvia, and Rebecca though. I really missed them more than I thought, but while I was there it was like they had never left and I had always been there. That is when you can really tell that you are with family :)

We went to Fiesta Texas in San Antonio (thats where the Garcia's live) and I ended up getting heat sick and almost throwing up when we went on this one ride. It just spun and spun. I had to close my eyes to be able to hold onto my cookies. But I mean can you blame me? I had 3 glasses of wine the night before, zero water that day, and it was like 105 degrees outside with humidity. I almost died. But the waterpark definetly helped, along with some complimentary ice water from the Six Flags Staff :)

So, after all is said and done, we went to Texas, sweated a ton, gained some weight, and flew home with the tons of memories we made inbetween :)

Better late than never I always say....

2009-05-26T05:32:00.001-07:00

Man, talk about never blogging, lol. Jess is the only person who reads this jank ne way lol.

So lets see, lots has happened. I got a job, worked things out with Jon, and am just truckin along. I have been dieting like a MAD man trying to get super thin before I head to Texas. Going for 180 Im down 16 and I have 30 pounds to lose. Seems like a far off goal, but 16 pounds in 4 weeks isnt bad. This is my 5th week. And I know that I am going to get there. It will be hard, and I may look gross skinny for a while, but, everyone will get used to it. I know I will when I can walk into a store and just pick anything off the rack and know that it will fit :)

Lets see, so yeah the reunion in Texas will be fun. It is going to be in Corpus, and we are going to be there for a week renting a house and having a rental car. It is Jon and I's first real vacation where we are staying somewhere other than someone's house lol. And I get to see the Garcias when I go, so I am pretty stoked. We are talking about going to Sea World and Six Flags, so that will be exciting as well :) I cant freakin wait!!!!

Who would have thought that this is where I would be. Lucky? I think yes :)

Easter

2009-04-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

One word for today....pretty much....well I wouldn't say perfect lol, but it was a pretty good end to a week/begining to a new one most def. I got to see my honey, (yeah we are working it out most def) and all of the fam was over. I am so glad that we had an egg hunt today because it made easter that much more exciting.

Man I am horrible about taking pictures.....I really need to get on top of that, maybe start one of those 365 albums or something??? I should really do that with weight loss and get my ass motivated.

Damn I am so tired.....and I have to go to work at 11. Not looking foreward to that....I like the money, but I don't like going to work. But then again....who does??? lol That monster I drank did Zero for me. I was hoping it would perk me up a bit, but nada.

I need to finish my flashcards but you see how much of those I am getting done sitting here procrastinating and blogging :/. I have GOT to do well on this test! I want a B SOOOOO freakin bad and I am SOOOOO freakin close! >_< I know I can pull it out of my ass, this weekend was just so jam packed I barely had time to breathe!

After work tommorrow I have to go to the GNC store and take care of getting a jump start on my diet. Apparently there are some sweet ass vitamins I can buy that will aid in it, and I need some multivitamins anyway. I bet you that I can find all of those at Wal-mart. So, I might make a pit-stop there before I make the hike all the way to the freakin GNC store. And then...I have my Diabetes/Acid Base Balance test....not looking foreward to it esp. since I am sposed to be studying for it right now, and you can obvioulsy tell by now that I sure as hell do not want to be doing that.

I cannot WAIT until classes are over. Then I can just focus on working and rebuilding my life.....I am getting back to the person I used to be, but I just need the weight to match how Im feeling. I know I can beat the fat Gene, I have proved it before and I am going to prove it again no doubt.

Really missing Jon right now.....

Ok, time to pack up for work.....G'night!

Ah, Look at all the lonely people

2009-03-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

Okay so....its what? Week....3? 4? And yeah I seem to be doing okay. Seems like this week my feelings are really starting to come out and Im not sure why. It just feels like this flood gate opening and pouring out into the world. I just, I don't know why it took so long for them to come out. I mean, shouldn't these feelings have come out a long ass time ago? I mean....UGH so retarded

Im waiting in the library until Martin gets out of class at like 8:30. And it is 4:31 now......I am going to DIE in this library. I can't keep doing this week after week. I need to find something to do up here to occupy my time instead of sitting here on the computer for freakin 4 hours!

I have really been feeling alone lately.....like alone alone for the first time and I dunno, I just, I dunno.........

Pathetic

2009-03-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

Need to start blogging more often because....well I need to lose weight. And so I am going to blog about it the best I can. I just need a release instead of food so I guess I am just going to write instead.

I really really wanted to drink a soda...like.....a regular soda, I drink a lot of diet anyway, which I really shouldnt, but I do anyways. And yeah I just really wanted to drink one but I am writing instead so yay no soda!

I need to go and workout today actually, I will prolly take the dogs outside for a run and get them to get rid of some of their extra energy.

Man o Man......I def need a life and to get out of the house. School 2 times a week is going to be nice....I guess. It will be nicer when it is all over with and I pass and I know my schedule for next semester. Then I can figure out if Im going to live in Richmond, or stay in hampton.

Im thinking that maybe I could be a travel nurse for a while. That would be really nice. Maybe get out of the states, see the world, and get paid to do it :) But who knows, the world is my oyster :)

*sigh* Im so bad at mackin....Ive lost my touch :(

Free Write

2009-03-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

Haven't done a free write in a while, prolly wont make much sense, but, I want to do one :)

Last night was a really great night, def great to meet and be wtih people i havent seen in forever. Mam I am fucking freexing it is so damn cold in this damn house sucks to wamke up and to be freezing your ass off! Not to mention your damn dogs take up all the room in your bed and then you can barely move your legs around and be comfortable! Cant wait to watch the rest of Twilight today ^_^ I really really like Robert Pattinson, what a great actor and Totally Yum :) Yes I just said yum. I really need a job. I want to go and shoot a gun. I really like this song. And hours, pass, and then yeah ummmm. I really want to workout today, kind of feel incomplete that I havent been able to go to the gym yet today.

Ok well, in a free write you take 1 min, or well in my case I took 2 and you write whatever hits your mind, and you do not edit what you have written, so ummm yeah my grammar and spelling is awful. But it is an awesome way to get all of your feelings out and to feel better about things. I should really do it more often, maybe every couple times I write my blog :) Makes you feel great :)

Ok, need to shower, I have to open the shop with my Dad today, and I am going to study and shiznit and watch the twilight movie on the computer :) haha!

<3

Endlessly

2009-03-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

Busy day for me today. Got up early, went to church, sat through the MOST BORING AND DRY sunday school class of my LIFE, stressed out about a washer dryer payment that isnt even due till the 29th, came home, cleaned, laundry, drove big bro around, text text text, twilight commercial FREAKOUT, chat chat chat, food, more cleaning, blogging.

Yeah, so, I guess it was busy for me? But at least the laundry room and the den are clean :) And I have got a fuck ton of laundry finished. Tommorrow it is off to the gym at 5:30am with Crystal! Ugh....talk about freakin early as balls, looks like it is time for me to get a little MP3 and begin with the song pirating :P Also, I need to talk my mom into getting fios.

Man what a great start to spring break, so busy, and lots to do :) Now I just need to get the rest of my stuff moved in, apply for a job, get the house cleaned, and prep/pass school! Yeah.....easy enough I guess....

Se la vi :)

Big steps and Big changes

2009-03-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have finally come to the realization that the relationship I was in was something that I no longer wanted to be a part of anymore. I just, I couldn't handle what he was putting me through and asking me to deal with. So I am moving away from that chapteer of my life, and hoping to keep going strong to bigger and better things. I of course will continue to love him, and worry about him, but if he can't be close to me right now as a friend then I have to respect that and hope that he figures out what he wants in life as well (even though I already know its me). Shoulda thought twice before what you said.....

SOOOOO anyway, Im on spring break and LOVING my freedom :) I am communicating with my old friends and getting to go out and do things. I mean, I actually feel like I am living my own seperate life from my parents and my relationship. Like, im actually a seperate person in this world instead of 2 people combined. Not to say that I did not like things that way and that I wont miss it, but I need to be 100% with the next relationships Im in before I move on to the next steps in those relationships.

I have been having loads and LOADS of fun with Allison and Keise! They have been home all week on spring break and hell yeah I will miss them but I mean, hey thats what road trips are for and I cannot WAIT to go wreak havoc on the JMU campus!!!! :) Because lord knows we have painted hampton red from tagging cars, to piercing Keise's nose! I have had the greatest week with those ladies :)

Other than that, I am trying to get a room here ready for me to live in before I have to bring the rest of my crap home and live out of boxes! So hopefully we can get all of that sorted out this weekend and I can be settled in and doing my thing. I don't know what I am going to do about a laptop though....BUT always looking foreward to the bright side, even though today is rainy, tommorrow always has the light peaking over the horizon :)

First Blog Of The New Year

2009-01-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so its the first posting of the new year and there is a lot to be said, and we are only 5 days in.

Went to Ga, that was fun, came back home day before my Mom's bday, ate a shit ton of food, gained 5 pounds :/, got my tatoo and I am enjoying my last week off from school. I cannot beleive I go back next week! It doesnt seem like I have had anywhere near long enough off, but hey, counting down till spring break baby! :)

Things have started to become a little clearer to me, I mean, I am starting to not take things so personally, but I am truly realizing how immature and annoying people can be. And I just let it roll off. Because, I mean I am fucking 20 years old, I definetly don't need the drama, and I really need to seperate myself out from it, thats for sure. Im just so fed up with it, its not even worth talking about anymore.

So as I said school starts next week, and it is going to be intense, 12 hour clinical days, the works. It is gonna be hell, on top of finding a CNA job that will work with my school schedule and not overwhelm me imensly. Combine that with Love life, and social life, and I am going to be drowning this semester. None of my teachers have posted ANYTHING up though, which makes it a bit annoying that I cannot get a head start on any of this shit. I am somewhat depressed that Ashley will not be there with me this semester, but I will be there with her to support her in whatever endeavor she decides to tackle :)

LOVE my tatoo btw. Looks kind of gross right now because it is peeling, and, yeah....its gross.

Jon and I are planning on running the 10k this year. It is in March, so that should give us plenty of time to shape up and do our thing. Then after that I am hoping to get some engagement pictures made :) Makes me jealous to see all of these couples that got engaged after us, and they already have all of their pictures made and are wedding planning and the works! But thats ok, once school is out, it is all on me :)

Oh yeah! I have to plan a wedding while I am in school....good grief....lol I am going to be strugglin!

Well, here is to a new year 2009 here I come!

Practicum

2008-12-11T18:08:00.000-08:00

The BIG practicum is tommorrow, Ashley just left here, she helped me study for it. By the time we hit Neuro/Mental status, we were so burnt out we couldnt even focus. I have never been so stressed out.....I mean, I'm glad we dont have to do all the systems, but geez. I wish we knew which one we were going to be able to do anyway. *sigh* Drawing out of a hat is as fair as it gets I guess. I am def. hoping for the breasts..weird, I know. But they are the easiest to inspect. All you have to do is inspection, and palpation and done. Cranial nerves seems fairly easy as well. UGH I dunno, I feel like Im losing my mind, and my grip is slipping as well.

Anywho, cannot wait till all this crapola is finished. Cause the light at the end of the tunnel, I get a vaca out of this state! I just need to get AWAYYYYYY! >_< Hmm....maybe Ashley will go camping with me :)

Still trying to make it through all this stress, and working out every morning and every afternoon. I missed this afternoon because I got out of class so late and then Ashley came over asap. So.....yeah, I will just have to hit it twice as hard tommorrow......*sigh*

These things Ill never say

Perspective

2008-12-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

The symphony tonight was amazing......I mean, it made me sad, I even started crying during it because it made me realize that, that could be me. I could be one of the flute players in the symphony doing what I love every day. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE nursing, I love people and taking care of them, and helping them out any and every way that I can...but my love for music runs so deep. It is what I am, it is who I am.....and it is what will always consume my heart.

Tomorrow is the day before the test, in which I will retreat to the office upstairs and not emerge until I know everything backwards, forewards, up, down, left, and right. I just need to do well these last couple of weeks.....it's like, my last leg so to say. If I go to Ga and I havent made it through this tough Journey after all of my hard work, I don't know what I will do with myself. Im def remaining as positive as possible.

The days are seeming to come and go faster and faster. Jon and I set a date, and I know pretty much all the details for the wedding. I know it is going to just jump up before I know it and it is going to be hella crazy, stressful, and another amazing adventure to enjoy with my honey, my friends, and my family.

Im still missing religion in my life. Every now and again I get little pieces reminding me how much it impacted my life and how much I actually participated in church. Between the music and the singing and the worship, and just feeling good with your friends and the ones you love.....def a hole there that I desperatly need to fill, with God that is.....

Still struggling with the weight, we are sposed to go back to hitting it hard starting on Monday, SoooooOOooooo.......we shall see.......all I know is that I need to get a hold on this shit......it is making me feel self conscious and, basically I am just sick of being overweight. I WILL control this.....it will not control me, it has my whole life, I can't let it anymore.

:) Almost bedtime :)

Zzzzzzz

Three weeks of hell

2008-12-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

I am so glad that school is almost to an end, but I just wish they had not crammed EVERYTHING into these last 3 weeks! I mean come on, a paper, VCE's, a test, practicum and 2 finals all in 3 weeks. Not to mention I still have to go to the hospital and everything! Although, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel :) Going to Ga will be SUCH a nice break to get away from all the stress here and to just relax and celebrate a holiday with family I don't really get to see and to be in a state I have never really visited.

So, on the other hand studying is really killing me. Ever notice toward the ends of semesters your focus kind of wanders and you cannot really focus on much of anything? Yeah, tack that on with the fact that I am a HUGE procrastinator and I wait till the last minute to do everything! I made a study schedule, have I stuck to it? No not Abbey......sheesh........

Still have lots of christmas shopping to do. No idea what I am going to get half the people I have to buy for. Jon and I still need to take our christmas picture and send out the cards. Just another thing on my list. Not to mention all the baking and the wrapping I am going to have to do in the next couple of weeks......

GAH! Talk about sit and take a deep breath! Keeping this weight down has not been any easier either. I said I was not going to feel any guilt at all from Turkey day....well I lied. 5 lbs later and I am miserable! It has been so hard to get back on track and stay on track! But like I said to Jon last night, "If I really wanted to be skinny, I would just do it and get it over with and be done with it!" So.....well I want it badly, I am just losing focus in certain areas, and that is one of them. It is just so much easier to go to the pantry and grab a rice crispie than to make a salad and chop up the veggies..... :/

Oh well, I will get a lock on this shit, I HAVE to for my health and just for me to be able to feel good about myself again. I just want all of the clothes in my closet to fit nice, not tightly and ok, but I want to look good and feel good in all of my clothes.

Well that is enough from me, I am sposed to be making flash cards....bleck

<3

Wining the battle of the buldge!

2008-11-26T14:12:00.000-08:00

This diet is getting easier and easier with each passing day! I look good and I am feeling so much better along with it! ^_^ Pictures of the newly organized rooms will have to be put off until I get new picture frames due to the minor accident they had falling off of Mindy's Crate and breaking. Scared the SHIT out of us this morning and woke us up.

I am LOVIN all this time off I am having! Gives me time to relax from nursing school, I just cannot lose my focus, which seems I already have :/. I really need to find a topic for my research paper, no luck in that department at all. BUT I have had lots of luck beating Halo 3, and getting further in Tales of Vesperia and COD4.

Love my games..... <3

Tomorrow is Turkey Day and I cannot wait! My diet is going to have to be put on hold, I am not going to have ANY guilt tomorrow because I am def going to be concious of what I am eating, and I am def going to enjoy it.

My brother has his playoff game this weekend and I am very hyped up about it :) Whether I am going yet or not, I don't know.

Went to the movies, and saw Twilight, it was really good.

Im going to see Australia tonight, the trailer looks good so I hope Im not disappointed.

Looking foreward to taking LOOOOTS of pictures and posting them everywhere I can. I am going to make sure Im in a lot of them too since this weight is falling off of me and I am lookin good :)

Realizing how much I am going to miss my Granny and her rolls tomorrow..... :(

Discovered a new band (to me at least) I LOVE The Material. Take a listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWXMfoTHHis

Lazy Sunday :)

2008-11-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

Loving my Sunday of laziness. I wasnt planning on doing a whole lot of tings, but I was definestly going to get our pictures hung up since we got our furniture delivered yesterday. Everytime I walk into the room it just feels more complete.

Went to Wendy's yesterday and busted my ass on some black ice and Jon laughed at me. Of course after the fact I laughed too, but my right leg is really KILLING me today, as if my eye bothering me wasnt enough.

Went out to Matt's last night. Had quite a night out. It was nice actually. He is cool people. Met some of his family and also some of his friends and learned about what the SCA was. Not to mention, TOTALLY kicked some butt in Rock Band 2. Jon has become obsessed with it now actually, he LOVES it and really wants to go and buy it. Especially since he has the week off next week and he will have so much time to kill so yeah.

Borrowed some anime DVD's from Matt as well. They are a whole lot better than I thought. I was relieved to find out they were in english.

Watching football right now, thats the sacrifice I make in the fall and winter for Jon. I watch lots and lots of football.

Will put up pictures of the newly organized house as soon as I get everything put back up and the way I want it. :)

Music

2008-11-20T06:20:00.000-08:00

Fell in love again with my guitar today.

We are having this thing in class today where we have to bring in a "bag" of stuff about ourselves so that everyone can see what we are all about and where we really come from. SOOooo I thought I might bring in my flute so I picked it up and started playing this morning. And it made me remember how much I loved it all :) And gosh I miss it!

It also made me realize how little pictures I have of my Mom and I. Or well, just my Mom in general.....maybe for christmas I can fix that :)

This handle on my weight is going better than I expected. Everyday gets easier and easier.

Test tomorrow that I am going to be studying for this afternoon and tonight when I get back from class. Can't wait.....yay :/

anyway, I love Music and thats about all

Pain is fear leaving the body

2008-11-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

Or so Jillian says.

Getting a hold on my weight has to be the hardest thing I think I have ever had to overcome in my life. Although I have been at this for 3 weeks now it still feels like the battle of my life. I feel like it is the only thing holding me back. I want to be the healthy nurse, not the nurse that is fat and walkin down the hall and pt's are like what the hell? Why is she my nurse?

So, yeah. I tend to qq about this a lot. But it is the only thing I am unhappy about with my life right now. And I feel like, if I really want to that I can get a hold on all of this.

I need to do this for myself and I need to realize that. Because everytime I fit into something a size smaller from my own closet, it is a good feeling. Down 6 pounds, at least 40 more to go.

Tests

2008-11-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah so I passed my test today and I am freakin SOOO happy! I am now passing nursing school and I couldnt feel better about it :)

Only thing to worry about now is staying on track and keeping up the good work. Speaking of which I have some hella gay hospital paperwork that I need to finish up.

Still sticking with the diet. It gets easier and easier everyday. I didnt really count calories today, I guess I could benefit more from it if I wrote down everything I ate. I actually tried to follow a food pyramid for a couple of days and you never realize how many fruits, veggies, milk, and cheese you are missing out on! I couldn't beleive it!

Anywho, I gotta get this shit done. 6am comes early and sick people never wait :)

The Dreaded Scale

2008-11-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

So, enough said really? Picture says it all? lol Jon and I have a bet going to see who can lose the most weight and hit their goal first. I have a strong feeling that he is going to hit his goal first since he gets to be away from home all day and is able to do his thing away from the temptations of the kitchen. >_<

School for me at 11, def dont wanna go, I still have reading to do and I have to go and print my notes. I think that the chapter is over 40 pages? I dont really remember. I checked it last night, took one look at it and lost interest lol so hopefully I can get some read this morning.

Right now I am enjoying the history of tatoos on the history channel. I cannot WAIT to get my ink. :) I am so excited. :)

House

2008-11-04T09:41:00.001-08:00

Yeah so I am watching house cause I love it of course and I am procrastinating, which is what I am good at.

I have a lot of paperwork to do for class thursday, along with a thousand things to study for my test on monday. I started reviewing last night but of course I didn't get far due to the TV I had been watching and of course because I find anything to distract me. So I am going to try the 30-20 technique. Study for 30, break for 20. And Im hoping it works. Voting this morning was hell. I ended up being late for clinical which was not that big of a deal since my patient was sleeping. Def. glad I had a new patient that was cooperative :)

Hiccups what a pain.

Off to do more paprwork.....hooray

The One You Love

2008-08-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things are not fair in life. A close friend moves away for a silly reason, your brother messes up his knee playing his favorite sport his Junior year, just so many things.

There have been many events over the past few days that have really started to open my eyes as to what kind od a person I want to be as I go on with my life. I dont want to be one of those people that missed out on things because I held myself back. I want to love and be loved by my all time love. And I have him here with me. I just need to realize how lucky I am to have what I have, and who I have and who I am.

I have that person that I am going to grow old with, and share the rest of my life with. And I am thankful beyond all beleif whether he knows it or not.

.......cherished

Long time Gone

2008-07-17T07:26:00.001-07:00

I havent posted in a while. I have good reasons lemme tell ya. Well first off, I bought an Xbox. That took up most of my time. Then I ended up breaking up with my fiance and living at home for 3 weeks, patched things up and we have begun the process of repairing our relationship. Tough stuff lemme tell ya.

Fiance's best friend got married. It was a beautiful wedding. Enjoyed it very much :) Had to turn down nursing school school. Ended up re-emailing them and they re-accepted me. So that was good. :) My life has just been an endless roller coaster these past few months. Emotions running high and adrenaline pumping. Not to mention my weight going up and down. Good greif. : /

Niece's b-day is today. She is 7.....7! Can you beleive that? I can't. My sister is an ungrateful prude as ever and doens't know what she is lucky to have in her life. She just wastes everything. A good guy has come into her life, and I want her to be happy with him. He is a great match for her, treats her great and everything. I just want her to be happy and to not mess things up. She always seems to run when things get tough in a relationship. It is time for her to grow up and suceed in her life. And I think things are on track for her.....just needs to gain control over money.

And life goes on!

WARNING

2008-06-03T19:02:00.001-07:00

We had a tornado warning tonight. Lemme tell ya, it was not my cup of tea. It happened right in the middle of dinner and it scared the shit out of me. I went and hid in the bathroom and everything. My fiance thought I was just being dumb and he didn't really pay much mind to me. But I grabbed the dogs sat on the toilet and prayed my heart out!

Good thing is nothing happened

Woot

Day One....

2008-06-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of my diet.....so far so good :) I feel like I am losing weight already! lol. Im using the website Sparkpeople.com It is like myspace for people losing weight. I LOVE it a ton. Apparently, if I lose 2 lbs a month until May 2009 I will weigh 159 lbs. SOOO I am gonna try and lose 5 lbs a month, possible? Maybe....Ya know, I have NEVER been that skinny EVER. Except maybe when I was in elementary school. Other than that I have only been 180. And that was when I lost 60 lbs on weight watchers and that shit was hard. But it felt good.

Weight has always controlled me, and ever since I woke up that one morning and made the descision to lose all the weight, it has stuck with me. I am going to control the weight, not let the weight control me. I can do this and I am going to succeed this time. I owe it to myself and those who love me to see me healthy, and happy :)

Def. a Fav

2008-05-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

Lovin this song right now :)

Feelin Good

2008-05-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

I have been feelin a whole lot better about things lately. I love being around my friends and talking to them and just laughing it up and having a good time.

My hubby told me that he would buy me a plane ticket to go and see my girl in GA! I am SO excited! :) I am going to go down like the 2nd week or so in July so that way I will be done with classes and I will have some time to ask off of work. It will most def be nice to get away for a week and hang out with her and have a good time before she moves up here. I know she is anxious to move and get out on her own, but I don't think that she realizes how big of a step it is going to be for her.

When I moved away from home, I was moving into another very stable environment, the only difference was that I did not have my family with me. Oh man and I cried and cried for the first week or two I think before I got used to it. Talk about being homesick right? But my boo stuck by me and got me through it. And here we are almost 2 years later and we have a great life together and I am lovin every minute of it :)

<3

Pounds and Pounds and Pounds

2008-05-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Sure, my weight bothers me. But whose weight does not bother them? No matter who you can or will talk to, a normal human is going to have a problem with their weight. Thats just how it is. I really want to get a hold of what myself and be able to control my weight, not for my weight to control me. Even though it is as hard as it is. I do not know why food controls me the way it does. I guess it is just an easy outlet. A way to feel better about myself. Food does not judge, it does not discriminate, it does not talk to you or about you. It is just there. And thats why it is so easy to eat it. Its really easy to just go to the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal or grab a sandwich and chow down. Just because it is there. And yes, I hate it. It sucks. I want to lose the weight but food is just too controlling of me for some reason and I want to break the control it has over me.

Everyone around me seems to be getting surgery to "fix" their problem. But, your problem will never be fixed or simply vanish. You have to work towards fixing the problem and making yourself a better person and more aware of yourself and what you are doing with your life. Sure I wanna be a nurse, but how good of an example will I be if I weigh a bagillion pounds and I am walking around the ER or Cardiac unit not practicing what I preach and taking care of people that are in better shape than I am and they have all the health problems. I mean honestly. I sunno what to do with myself. I really want to fix this provlem. I guess I just need more support.

It's just so hard...

Car Keys....wtf?

2008-05-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

I have not found my car keys since sunday....great huh? I have no idea where they are. They are not in my car, under the couches, under the bed, in the bathroom, in the corolla anywhere. So anyways, I am at a loss. I have no idea where they are and I have not been able to go anywhere....wtf right???

The people that I have removed from my life have not even tried to contact me to find out why. And I dont get it. If someone shut me out of their life, I would want to know what I did and why. And instead, they say nothing......I guess my friendship was not as important as I thought it was to them. Family my ass....

Work tomorrow. Had my first nursing school class today....it was nice :)

Going back to finding car keys......yuck

Sunburn ftl

2008-05-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

I cannot beleive how sunburnt I got today. I only spent 30 mins on my stomach and 30 on my back and I am a lobster....but oh well right? Man I am so tired and nervous and not excited about my nursing class tomorrow. Its the first step out of many I am going to have to make in this direction and I have already started stumbling cause I have not finished the reading I was supposed to for the stupid class....but oh well. I will live I guess. It's not like I am being tested on the shit. And I am going to wake up early anyways and read the last 58 pages.

Man I am lovin me some K-Love

Oh, memorial day. Def. a day of remembrance. My brother's car broke down on the inerstate and low and behold he called me. :) Cause I am such an AMAZING sister that can come to the rescue. My dad and neighbor had been drinkin and were feelin good so I had to drive them over to where my brother was. They ended up tryin to push the car to the next exit to get it off the inerstate. And that exit happened to be about 2.5 miles down the inerstate and up 2 hills lol. But anywho, they started pushin and a trooper pulls up behind me, MAN I freaked out and started honkin the horn lol.

Long story short, I had the shit scared out of me, my Dad smoked a cigarette in front of me for the first time ever, and my brother's car started just to break down at the motel 8 lol. It runs now cause my dad is a miracle worker.

Time for bed

I am spoken for

2008-05-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

Man, what a great song. I am really using this day today to get in touch with who and what I used to be.

Getting back in touch with my God, and getting back into what I love and what I was really given a talent for is another huge thing of importance to me....and I am going to start playing music again. I might spend a small fortune getting back into it, but hey, it's what I want. :)

"do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of it's own."

I am realizing what is important

2008-05-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so as I am getting older I am really truly finding out who are my friends and who are just there to be there. Sure I feel used, and hurt and I want nothing to do with either of them anymore. Fuck em for real.

On the other hand, My Godson and other best friend are some of the best people in my life. And I am realizing who and what is important. Real family is important. My fiance is important. I am important. I need to take care of myself, take care of my house, my dogs, my things. Take more pride in what I have. Be greatful and happy for everything that I have.

But right now my foot is burning lol. Stupid lotion....

2007-12-28T06:58:00.001-08:00

So christmas was nice. I really enjoyed getting presents for everyone and then seeing the looks on everyone's faces. It really made me smile :) I took tons of pictures and everything.

I have been having some weird dreams lately and I am beginning to think that it is due to the increase of junkfood I have been eating since my brother has been here. It sounds like an excuse to eat junk food, but lets just call it a theory :)

Anywho, I am not sure what today holds in store for me. My morning has been keeping me occupied.

My little bro is down for most of the week and lets just say that I have been kept busy because he is so messy......

So Im watching spongebob, who knows what else the day will bring forth.....

2007-12-23T18:41:00.000-08:00

Oh my, Oh my. Viking football.

Yeah so they are pretty much getting schooled by the redskins right now......16-0 in the 3rd quarter and now 22 nothing....exscuse me.......and they had 4 turnovers in the 1st half....4 TURNOVERS...WTF!?!!??!?

Moving on...

I get to go to h-town tomorrow and see my rents and my friends and then its christmas! I cant wait! Cause I love christmas! And then New years! And we get to get suuuupa Drunk.....greif.....cannot wait :)

2007-12-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah so this weekend....must say...DEF the best ever. We had some peeps over, and our roomies and we got super fucked up..it was HELLA fun. I wish I would have taken pictures.....

Anywho, christmas is in 2 days and some change and I am excited about it...I can't wait actually! I get my new phone today as well....

Gotta let the pups in.

2007-12-21T09:01:00.001-08:00

Sold another video game today. Craigslist has been good to me. :)

Things between hubby and I are back to normal....just in time for christmas....thanks santa :)

Have a lot to do today to get ready for the long weekend with christmas and all. Its quite exciting! I LOVE Christmas! ^_^ And I dont have to cook tonight thank goodness!!!

Goodness knows what we are doing tonight. I def. know that I am going to be doing some excersise today. Me and my fat but. I have lost weight everyday this week though.

I never cease to amaze myself :)

2007-12-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

Emotion packed morning.....

I finally got to talk to someone about how I am feeling about my relationship with hubby. I picked the wrong person to talk to....but wow...what great advice....!

Bout to eat lunch, maybe watch a movie and relax with the dogs.

I feel like I have had some weight lifted from my chest.....feels like I can breathe a little better.

2007-12-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

Okay so I def. want a kitten. I don't know why I cannot be completely happy with my 2 dogs but I am just not. I want something else that I can smother with affection. Weird right? I know....but I have such a stupid obsession. I will get over it eventually.

I played DDR for an hour straight yesterday and kicked some ass.....it was fun, I am about to start playing here in a little bit actually.

When my hubby came home last night I def. showed him some love and affection that he has been missing obviously. I made dinner and the whole nine yards. We watched TV and everything. I must say I was super dissapointed in the Tila Tequilla and the Biggest Loser results. Not the best results. I was not impressed. Tila should have picked Dani. But its not socially accepted so what did she do....took the safe road.

This morning we were awoken by hubby's work pager.....great huh? 5 mins before the main office opens and of course it had to ring and he had to fix it at 7am. So thats what time I got up to because I can't sleep through anything like most people can.

Lots of drama this morning. Enough said.

Went to the SPCA.....could'nt go in....enough said......

2007-12-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

Today has been SO productive for me and I am very happy with myself for once actually. :)

I am trying to talk myself out of going out and adopting a kitten for the simple fact that I dont want my JRT to eat it and then me end up hating myself. But I can't help this obsession that I have! My hubby is super sick of this obsession that I have and I know he is even though he is so good to me and deals with all of my quarks. I dont know where in the world I would be without him...maybe I need to say these things to him more often and let him know just how important he is to me....wow....talk about practicing what you preach......

Morning

2007-12-18T04:50:00.000-08:00

Yes....Im awake....another day and more dieting.

Once again we are watching Mike and Mike on ESPN...greattt. :/ Anyways, I have a list of tasks I have to get done today like normal. I have to go mail our christmas cards and hubby's Mom's gift, and go buy a present for our roommate who doesnt really deserve much of a present...mean...yeah....now I kinda feel bad....

But he wants a baseball hat....not something that is a bad thing to want to get but oh well.........

Lots to do....not enough time
Hurry up School

2007-12-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

Its almost 11....we are watching football...yay right?? I am getting very tired I worked hard today. I exersised and everything. Chocolate is my weak point....o well though right?? I will get ahold of it all right?? right. I got this.

well..Im tired....I dont know what Im going to do tomorrow. I bought Ace a super cute sweater today.....he seemed devastated when I put it on him lol. Kept him warm and he got used to it.

<3

Day One

2007-12-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

Alright, so..I just have no idea what to do with myself. I keep getting in fights with my lover boy over stupid shit constantly. It has been a year and a couple of months, engaged, and we are tighter than you can believe. Its just the small things that seem to be getting to me.

I am pretty upset due to my weight, it is really starting to hit me that I need to lose some weight. But I just don't feel like dieting so close to christmas is going to be effective, but of course he wants to drop some weight. I want to drop weight too because of course Im not suuuuper happy with my weight and it is kind of depressing that the clothes in my closet do not fit but I have kind of accepted some things even though this is something that I can gain control over and handle I just have an issue with self control when it comes to food.

I can handle this completely though, I just know it. I just need some time and patience and understanding from the people who are around me and the people who love me.