Def. a Fav

Lovin this song right now :)

Feelin Good

I have been feelin a whole lot better about things lately. I love being around my friends and talking to them and just laughing it up and having a good time.

My hubby told me that he would buy me a plane ticket to go and see my girl in GA! I am SO excited! :) I am going to go down like the 2nd week or so in July so that way I will be done with classes and I will have some time to ask off of work. It will most def be nice to get away for a week and hang out with her and have a good time before she moves up here. I know she is anxious to move and get out on her own, but I don't think that she realizes how big of a step it is going to be for her.

When I moved away from home, I was moving into another very stable environment, the only difference was that I did not have my family with me. Oh man and I cried and cried for the first week or two I think before I got used to it. Talk about being homesick right? But my boo stuck by me and got me through it. And here we are almost 2 years later and we have a great life together and I am lovin every minute of it :)

<3

Pounds and Pounds and Pounds

Sure, my weight bothers me. But whose weight does not bother them? No matter who you can or will talk to, a normal human is going to have a problem with their weight. Thats just how it is. I really want to get a hold of what myself and be able to control my weight, not for my weight to control me. Even though it is as hard as it is. I do not know why food controls me the way it does. I guess it is just an easy outlet. A way to feel better about myself. Food does not judge, it does not discriminate, it does not talk to you or about you. It is just there. And thats why it is so easy to eat it. Its really easy to just go to the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal or grab a sandwich and chow down. Just because it is there. And yes, I hate it. It sucks. I want to lose the weight but food is just too controlling of me for some reason and I want to break the control it has over me.

Everyone around me seems to be getting surgery to "fix" their problem. But, your problem will never be fixed or simply vanish. You have to work towards fixing the problem and making yourself a better person and more aware of yourself and what you are doing with your life. Sure I wanna be a nurse, but how good of an example will I be if I weigh a bagillion pounds and I am walking around the ER or Cardiac unit not practicing what I preach and taking care of people that are in better shape than I am and they have all the health problems. I mean honestly. I sunno what to do with myself. I really want to fix this provlem. I guess I just need more support.

It's just so hard...

Car Keys....wtf?

I have not found my car keys since sunday....great huh? I have no idea where they are. They are not in my car, under the couches, under the bed, in the bathroom, in the corolla anywhere. So anyways, I am at a loss. I have no idea where they are and I have not been able to go anywhere....wtf right???

The people that I have removed from my life have not even tried to contact me to find out why. And I dont get it. If someone shut me out of their life, I would want to know what I did and why. And instead, they say nothing......I guess my friendship was not as important as I thought it was to them. Family my ass....

Work tomorrow. Had my first nursing school class today....it was nice :)

Going back to finding car keys......yuck

Sunburn ftl

I cannot beleive how sunburnt I got today. I only spent 30 mins on my stomach and 30 on my back and I am a lobster....but oh well right? Man I am so tired and nervous and not excited about my nursing class tomorrow. Its the first step out of many I am going to have to make in this direction and I have already started stumbling cause I have not finished the reading I was supposed to for the stupid class....but oh well. I will live I guess. It's not like I am being tested on the shit. And I am going to wake up early anyways and read the last 58 pages.

Man I am lovin me some K-Love

Oh, memorial day. Def. a day of remembrance. My brother's car broke down on the inerstate and low and behold he called me. :) Cause I am such an AMAZING sister that can come to the rescue. My dad and neighbor had been drinkin and were feelin good so I had to drive them over to where my brother was. They ended up tryin to push the car to the next exit to get it off the inerstate. And that exit happened to be about 2.5 miles down the inerstate and up 2 hills lol. But anywho, they started pushin and a trooper pulls up behind me, MAN I freaked out and started honkin the horn lol.

Long story short, I had the shit scared out of me, my Dad smoked a cigarette in front of me for the first time ever, and my brother's car started just to break down at the motel 8 lol. It runs now cause my dad is a miracle worker.

Time for bed

I am spoken for

Man, what a great song. I am really using this day today to get in touch with who and what I used to be.

Getting back in touch with my God, and getting back into what I love and what I was really given a talent for is another huge thing of importance to me....and I am going to start playing music again. I might spend a small fortune getting back into it, but hey, it's what I want. :)

"do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of it's own."

I am realizing what is important

Okay, so as I am getting older I am really truly finding out who are my friends and who are just there to be there. Sure I feel used, and hurt and I want nothing to do with either of them anymore. Fuck em for real.

On the other hand, My Godson and other best friend are some of the best people in my life. And I am realizing who and what is important. Real family is important. My fiance is important. I am important. I need to take care of myself, take care of my house, my dogs, my things. Take more pride in what I have. Be greatful and happy for everything that I have.

But right now my foot is burning lol. Stupid lotion....