Pounds and Pounds and Pounds

Sure, my weight bothers me. But whose weight does not bother them? No matter who you can or will talk to, a normal human is going to have a problem with their weight. Thats just how it is. I really want to get a hold of what myself and be able to control my weight, not for my weight to control me. Even though it is as hard as it is. I do not know why food controls me the way it does. I guess it is just an easy outlet. A way to feel better about myself. Food does not judge, it does not discriminate, it does not talk to you or about you. It is just there. And thats why it is so easy to eat it. Its really easy to just go to the kitchen and make a bowl of cereal or grab a sandwich and chow down. Just because it is there. And yes, I hate it. It sucks. I want to lose the weight but food is just too controlling of me for some reason and I want to break the control it has over me.

Everyone around me seems to be getting surgery to "fix" their problem. But, your problem will never be fixed or simply vanish. You have to work towards fixing the problem and making yourself a better person and more aware of yourself and what you are doing with your life. Sure I wanna be a nurse, but how good of an example will I be if I weigh a bagillion pounds and I am walking around the ER or Cardiac unit not practicing what I preach and taking care of people that are in better shape than I am and they have all the health problems. I mean honestly. I sunno what to do with myself. I really want to fix this provlem. I guess I just need more support.

It's just so hard...