Better late than never I always say....

Man, talk about never blogging, lol. Jess is the only person who reads this jank ne way lol.

So lets see, lots has happened. I got a job, worked things out with Jon, and am just truckin along. I have been dieting like a MAD man trying to get super thin before I head to Texas. Going for 180 Im down 16 and I have 30 pounds to lose. Seems like a far off goal, but 16 pounds in 4 weeks isnt bad. This is my 5th week. And I know that I am going to get there. It will be hard, and I may look gross skinny for a while, but, everyone will get used to it. I know I will when I can walk into a store and just pick anything off the rack and know that it will fit :)

Lets see, so yeah the reunion in Texas will be fun. It is going to be in Corpus, and we are going to be there for a week renting a house and having a rental car. It is Jon and I's first real vacation where we are staying somewhere other than someone's house lol. And I get to see the Garcias when I go, so I am pretty stoked. We are talking about going to Sea World and Six Flags, so that will be exciting as well :) I cant freakin wait!!!!

Who would have thought that this is where I would be. Lucky? I think yes :)

Easter

One word for today....pretty much....well I wouldn't say perfect lol, but it was a pretty good end to a week/begining to a new one most def. I got to see my honey, (yeah we are working it out most def) and all of the fam was over. I am so glad that we had an egg hunt today because it made easter that much more exciting.

Man I am horrible about taking pictures.....I really need to get on top of that, maybe start one of those 365 albums or something??? I should really do that with weight loss and get my ass motivated.

Damn I am so tired.....and I have to go to work at 11. Not looking foreward to that....I like the money, but I don't like going to work. But then again....who does??? lol That monster I drank did Zero for me. I was hoping it would perk me up a bit, but nada.

I need to finish my flashcards but you see how much of those I am getting done sitting here procrastinating and blogging :/. I have GOT to do well on this test! I want a B SOOOOO freakin bad and I am SOOOOO freakin close! >_< I know I can pull it out of my ass, this weekend was just so jam packed I barely had time to breathe!

After work tommorrow I have to go to the GNC store and take care of getting a jump start on my diet. Apparently there are some sweet ass vitamins I can buy that will aid in it, and I need some multivitamins anyway. I bet you that I can find all of those at Wal-mart. So, I might make a pit-stop there before I make the hike all the way to the freakin GNC store. And then...I have my Diabetes/Acid Base Balance test....not looking foreward to it esp. since I am sposed to be studying for it right now, and you can obvioulsy tell by now that I sure as hell do not want to be doing that.

I cannot WAIT until classes are over. Then I can just focus on working and rebuilding my life.....I am getting back to the person I used to be, but I just need the weight to match how Im feeling. I know I can beat the fat Gene, I have proved it before and I am going to prove it again no doubt.

Really missing Jon right now.....

Ok, time to pack up for work.....G'night!

Ah, Look at all the lonely people

Okay so....its what? Week....3? 4? And yeah I seem to be doing okay. Seems like this week my feelings are really starting to come out and Im not sure why. It just feels like this flood gate opening and pouring out into the world. I just, I don't know why it took so long for them to come out. I mean, shouldn't these feelings have come out a long ass time ago? I mean....UGH so retarded

Im waiting in the library until Martin gets out of class at like 8:30. And it is 4:31 now......I am going to DIE in this library. I can't keep doing this week after week. I need to find something to do up here to occupy my time instead of sitting here on the computer for freakin 4 hours!

I have really been feeling alone lately.....like alone alone for the first time and I dunno, I just, I dunno.........

Pathetic

Need to start blogging more often because....well I need to lose weight. And so I am going to blog about it the best I can. I just need a release instead of food so I guess I am just going to write instead.

I really really wanted to drink a soda...like.....a regular soda, I drink a lot of diet anyway, which I really shouldnt, but I do anyways. And yeah I just really wanted to drink one but I am writing instead so yay no soda!

I need to go and workout today actually, I will prolly take the dogs outside for a run and get them to get rid of some of their extra energy.

Man o Man......I def need a life and to get out of the house. School 2 times a week is going to be nice....I guess. It will be nicer when it is all over with and I pass and I know my schedule for next semester. Then I can figure out if Im going to live in Richmond, or stay in hampton.

Im thinking that maybe I could be a travel nurse for a while. That would be really nice. Maybe get out of the states, see the world, and get paid to do it :) But who knows, the world is my oyster :)

*sigh* Im so bad at mackin....Ive lost my touch :(

Free Write

Haven't done a free write in a while, prolly wont make much sense, but, I want to do one :)

Last night was a really great night, def great to meet and be wtih people i havent seen in forever. Mam I am fucking freexing it is so damn cold in this damn house sucks to wamke up and to be freezing your ass off! Not to mention your damn dogs take up all the room in your bed and then you can barely move your legs around and be comfortable! Cant wait to watch the rest of Twilight today ^_^ I really really like Robert Pattinson, what a great actor and Totally Yum :) Yes I just said yum. I really need a job. I want to go and shoot a gun. I really like this song. And hours, pass, and then yeah ummmm. I really want to workout today, kind of feel incomplete that I havent been able to go to the gym yet today.

Ok well, in a free write you take 1 min, or well in my case I took 2 and you write whatever hits your mind, and you do not edit what you have written, so ummm yeah my grammar and spelling is awful. But it is an awesome way to get all of your feelings out and to feel better about things. I should really do it more often, maybe every couple times I write my blog :) Makes you feel great :)

Ok, need to shower, I have to open the shop with my Dad today, and I am going to study and shiznit and watch the twilight movie on the computer :) haha!

<3

Endlessly

Busy day for me today. Got up early, went to church, sat through the MOST BORING AND DRY sunday school class of my LIFE, stressed out about a washer dryer payment that isnt even due till the 29th, came home, cleaned, laundry, drove big bro around, text text text, twilight commercial FREAKOUT, chat chat chat, food, more cleaning, blogging.

Yeah, so, I guess it was busy for me? But at least the laundry room and the den are clean :) And I have got a fuck ton of laundry finished. Tommorrow it is off to the gym at 5:30am with Crystal! Ugh....talk about freakin early as balls, looks like it is time for me to get a little MP3 and begin with the song pirating :P Also, I need to talk my mom into getting fios.

Man what a great start to spring break, so busy, and lots to do :) Now I just need to get the rest of my stuff moved in, apply for a job, get the house cleaned, and prep/pass school! Yeah.....easy enough I guess....

Se la vi :)

Big steps and Big changes

I have finally come to the realization that the relationship I was in was something that I no longer wanted to be a part of anymore. I just, I couldn't handle what he was putting me through and asking me to deal with. So I am moving away from that chapteer of my life, and hoping to keep going strong to bigger and better things. I of course will continue to love him, and worry about him, but if he can't be close to me right now as a friend then I have to respect that and hope that he figures out what he wants in life as well (even though I already know its me). Shoulda thought twice before what you said.....

SOOOOO anyway, Im on spring break and LOVING my freedom :) I am communicating with my old friends and getting to go out and do things. I mean, I actually feel like I am living my own seperate life from my parents and my relationship. Like, im actually a seperate person in this world instead of 2 people combined. Not to say that I did not like things that way and that I wont miss it, but I need to be 100% with the next relationships Im in before I move on to the next steps in those relationships.

I have been having loads and LOADS of fun with Allison and Keise! They have been home all week on spring break and hell yeah I will miss them but I mean, hey thats what road trips are for and I cannot WAIT to go wreak havoc on the JMU campus!!!! :) Because lord knows we have painted hampton red from tagging cars, to piercing Keise's nose! I have had the greatest week with those ladies :)

Other than that, I am trying to get a room here ready for me to live in before I have to bring the rest of my crap home and live out of boxes! So hopefully we can get all of that sorted out this weekend and I can be settled in and doing my thing. I don't know what I am going to do about a laptop though....BUT always looking foreward to the bright side, even though today is rainy, tommorrow always has the light peaking over the horizon :)